In my last blog, I touched on the importance of managing stress during the Menopause (or any time) and it’s impact it can have on us physically and emotionally. I wish I had been given that advice and guidance back in 2018 as maybe then I would not have gone through the first of the two breakdowns I would experience on my Menopause journey.
I can safely say that I know exactly what it is like when stress and the Menopause get too much, and we don’t take proper care of ourselves at this important time. I can still recall that exact moment at work (20th November 2018) when everything just became too much, and I broke down. I had been under extreme stress for many months by this point, battling on as you do under pressure and ignoring the fact that my body was telling me I needed to start looking after me. Eventually my body said enough is enough and forced me to take time out. I can remember that it was the smallest of things that triggered me collapsing into a sobbing wreck in the middle of the office. I had just come out of a meeting and gone back to my desk and one of our HR managers came over to me and asked a simple question, but that simple question was the trigger. I went to answer their question and the floodgates opened and the tears poured out like a waterfall (my body had a lot of stress hormone to get out of my body!). Thankfully it was one of our HR managers who I broke down in front of and they whisked me away to somewhere quiet and just let me get it out of my system. Once I’d calmed down they got my bag and advised me to go home and perhaps go see my GP.
The following day I went to my GP and I was signed off work until the new year. Interestingly I did talk to my GP about whether my menopause was having an effect, but they thought not and that my symptoms were just stress related. It would take my next breakdown to finally put those dots together. When I e-mailed my sick note off to my boss I wrote:
“On a personal note, this has not been an easy decision to finally put myself first. I've always been such a company person and with having no help I have only been focusing on the impact this could have on the company and others and not on what impact it has been having on me.” My boss responded that this was one of the saddest e-mails they’d ever received.
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the chaotic 24/7 world around us that we forget the most important person to look after is ourselves. I was a wreck, a decent night’s sleep seemed like a luxury, I couldn’t concentrate, my hair was falling out, I was putting on weight, I had no enthusiasm for anything and my body and mind felt totally done in. I certainly wasn’t in a good place physically or mentally. I was signed off work for over a month and when I did go back I did it gradually and I certainly made sure I put some changes in place to manage my stress levels.
A breakdown like this is not something that you get over quickly and it is definitely not like recovering from a cold or virus. The important ingredients for recovery are time and self-care and lots of them, support from family and friends is also needed in times like these, which thankfully I had. Recovery was a slow process and not one to be rushed. At times it seemed like climbing a mountain. The things that helped my recovery most were walks in nature, yoga and giving myself some much needed ‘me’ time. I also turned to Mother Nature for help and her wonderful herbs to help soothe the nervous system such as Lemon Balm, Passionflower, Valarian and St John’s Wort. They certainly helped on my road to recovery.
One of the biggest lessons I learnt from this time was the importance of self-care. Self-care is not a luxury it is a necessity. Just remember the advice they give you in the pre-flight emergency briefings when you fly – always fix your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs. The same advice applies to self-care.
Next time we get hot, hot, hot as I delve into the topic of hot flushes and give my hints and tips to help you handle this delight of the Menopause journey.
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