Following my trip to the GP back in January 2016 I had no idea of what to expect on the journey ahead as I entered the rabbit hole that is the Menopause. I was still reeling from the fact that I was going through the Menopause at the young(ish) age of 45 and a big part of me was resistant to the idea. I think more than anything it arouses that fear of getting older, especially in a society that is youth centred and views ageing in a negative way. Though the tide is turning on our perception of the Menopause, it is still very much considered something that should be ‘fought off’ or ‘held back’ at all costs. It’s no wonder that when we approach this important stage in our life the first thought that comes into our head is “I’m old and past it”, that is certainly the thought that sprang into my mind in those early days on my journey. Thankfully, that thought no longer occupies my mind. My thoughts now are very much that the adventure has only just begun and that getting older brings an abundance of opportunities.
Anyway, back to 2016 and the weeks and years to follow. Though those early days of my Menopause journey seem a bit of a blur now, I can still remember the changes that I started to experience, not just physically but emotionally. There were the physical signs such as hot flushes, night sweats, insomnia, heart palpitations, metallic taste in my mouth, joint pain, hair falling out, hair growing in new places it’s never grown before and my body not quite working how it used to, oh and almost forgot – brain fog. For me, my body not quite working how it used to, especially in certain areas, was a big frustration and one that caused a lot of angst. I will delve a little deeper into those in my later blogs.
Physical signs aside, it was the emotional signs that were to have the biggest impact on my journey and were the ones that would make my journey such a rollercoaster of a ride. Mood swings, irritability, anxiety and depression would become my constant travelling companions. It would be these emotional travelling companions though that would make me feel at times like I was totally lost and losing my mind. There would also be times that I would feel very alone. As I’ve reached journeys end, I’ve learned to distance myself from these travelling companions (thankfully); though they do pop by every now and then hoping to be let in, but I endeavour to bar their way as I am now wise to their subtle ways plus, I have an armoury of tools up my sleeve to bat them away.
During the early years of my journey, I had very little support (with the exception of my wonderful husband), mainly because I didn’t know who to talk to about it or where to turn. There was also that element of denial going on that made me think that what was going on with me was due to stress or the pressured environment I was working in and not the Menopause. It would only be when I had my second breakdown in 2021 (the first one coming in 2018) would I put all the pieces together and have that ‘aha!’ moment and realise that most of what I had experienced over the previous past 5 years the Menopause had been a contributing factor and had certainly not helped with some of the experiences I had gone through. If only I had kept a journal in those earlier days maybe I would have put the pieces together sooner.
I like to think that had I had the right support through my journey, maybe it would not have been such a hellish one, but maybe I was meant to experience its fall force to help others through theirs. Fortunately, the tide is turning, there is more awareness now, we are talking about Menopause more and slowly companies are recognising that they need to be supporting women during this time – and so they should we are valuable resource! The more we keep talking about it and raising awareness the more we will turn the tide.
Next time, I will be showcasing some of the many signs of the Menopause journey and inviting you to play along with my Dragonfly Bingo.
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